Some see all the glory of the Games. To others they are an abomination. Both have a point.
With the beginning of the Olympics, the attention of the world is now fixed squarely on Vancouver and Whistler, and you know what that means: this is the perfect time to steal the world's stuff. Cover me while I swipe the Mona Lisa (thanks, I owe you one) and Coldplay's instruments (now you owe me).
There are those who contend that the Olympics are an athletic Kumbaya to the world, a bonding experience in which we are all spiritually enriched by the pulse-pounding thrill of assorted Scandinavians proceeding downhill quadrennially. There are others who believe the Games are a folly, an abomination, a…a…a follomination!"”not to mention a great way to keep in tip-top protestin' shape between G8 meetings.
In truth, there are pros and cons to the Olympics. Let's take a look:
Pro: The Games are good for our national reputation. As a country, we can take pride in not having to face Beijing's PR woes"”the censorship, the air pollution, the part where they pretended to look puzzled when IOC members lifted the rugs in their hotel rooms and found four million political dissidents. That said, B.C. presents its own unique challenges. That's why organizers are scrambling to ensure all visitors receive a complimentary English-to-Stoner dictionary.
Con: The Games are bad for our personal self-esteem. The athletes gathered now in B.C. are so physically perfect it's as though they're not the same species as the rest of us (thanks to growth hormones, this may literally be true for some). Point is: it's difficult to feel any sort of human connection with people who have never been distracted during a romantic evening stroll by the sound of their thighs rubbing together.
Pro: The Games teach important life lessons. If, for instance, your goal is to be successful, then Olympic women's hockey can show you how"”all you need to do is focus on a pursuit at which everyone else on earth sucks. Let's face it: members of our national women's squad could treat the second period of each game as a bonspiel and still they couldn't do worse than silver. Maybe we need to take it a step further and start excelling at events that don't even exist yet, so we get a four-year head start. Olympic spectators of 2014: prepare yourselves for Canada's domination in the aerial bobsleigh.
Con: A national panic will set in if Canada hasn't won 17 medals by, say, the end of the opening ceremonies. Amateur sport officials will go into hiding. Politicians will begin demanding answers. Media pundits will be left with no option but to stroke their chins judgmentally.
Pro: The Olympics encourage the dreamer in us all to aspire to new achievements. Mark my words: someday, eventually, the Canadian Olympic Committee will see the ratings wisdom of my proposal to have the team outfitted not by the Bay but by Victoria's Secret.
Con: If the 2010 Games follow the historical pattern, Canadian corporations will once again buy a record amount of advertising space on the host broadcaster"”and use it to run the same bloody commercial over and over. Why? Because they hate us. It's the only explanation that makes sense.
Pages: 1 2
PreviousThe Show of Shows
By posting your comment you agree to the Macleans.ca terms of service and privacy policy.
To add an avatar to your comment, please visit gravatar.com and register the email you use to comment on this site.
Comment
Name (required)
Mail (will not be published) (required)
Website
XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <pre> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Notify me of follow-up comments via email.
Notify me of new posts via email.
From Macleans Andrew Coyne's Blog Moments of lucidity
Who’s more “realistic” about sovereignty: Lucien Bouchard or Jacques Parizeau?
If police are correct, he was a cold-blooded planner who in hours could transform from commander to monster
Canadian speed skater takes 2nd place at the short track
The Dutch state is prosecuting the platform of the country's most popular opposition party
Read Full Article »